31st birthday

 This year I’m in GA with Casey, Lisa and Mia. We talked about Cody  and had wings, his favorite, for dinner. I miss him beyond words. It’s just so unreal. 10 birthdays in heaven. I can only imagine what he would be like now, married, kids? It’s all so very heartbreaking. Glad to get a hug tonight from Casey. I will push on. 

Dec. 18, 2023

 On this day, at 9:30 pm, we sweet angel took his last breath in my arms. This is the worst pain in the world. No one should lose a child. Cancer took him from me. So very awful and unfair. 

I know this pain. Things like Cody never getting to be an uncle. He would be perfect at it. He will never get married and have children of his own. That is where we are in life and it hurts! He will never get to be a brother in law to Lisa. She would adore him too. This second chapter of life is beautiful except that he’s missing. 

I will continue to keep him alive. His foundation shows his impact to others. His name is heard. My friends and family all do such a great job in celebrating him. This I am so blessed for. 

I miss my son. 

Diagnosis

 Today marks 15 years since Cody was first diagnosed with ALL.  That’s all. 

Happy 30th Birthday.

 I cannot wrap my head around this deep loss. How could my son be 30 and not be here? How can I not be planning his party? How can I not think about who he’d be? Where would he live? Would he be married? Kids? All of that was put to an abrupt stop Dec 18,2014. Life here on earth was over for my son. I miss him more than words. Tough day to say the least. Keep all the signs coming Cody. I need them. I might as everything about you. One day closer to seeing you again. Rest easy my boy. 

8 years….

 It has been 8 long years without my son. 8.  Just think about that. Today was tough. I try to do things to keep my son in Everyone’s mind. It’s easy for me..he never leaves it. I love and long for all the signs and I know he is with me. He would be an uncle now. I know he would love that role. I am sure Mia knows he is around. We miss and love you dearly, Cody. 

April 27, 2022

 My son would have been 29 today.  I cannot wrap my head around this.  His beautiful niece will never know her favorite uncle.  I know he would be her favorite.  Today I went to Lion Country Safari.  I took the boys there when they were little.  I know Cody always loved animals too.  This one ostrich was pecking on my window.  Go figure.  And tonight one of the pictures of Cody feel down.  I know he is near.  I feel it.  Thank you, Cody.  I love seeing how many people remember Cody and have stories to tell.  I miss him so much.  Happy heavenly birthday my son.  

7 YEARS WITHOUT MY SON

 December 18, 2021

7 years....I am not sure how that happened.  I do know that it is so hard without my son here.  There are so many life changes that I wish Cody experienced.  The first one is that he would be an uncle.  He would love that role.  I am thankful for my daughter in law for not forgetting him and teaching Mia about him.  They would have loved each other.  I know Cody would love Lisa too. I wish they could have met.  I know he would be so proud of Casey.  Not sure he would have liked me moving to Florida...he hated the heat and said everything was so slow here.  And it is.  I wonder where Cody would be and what he would be doing.  I have a feeling he would be with the Islanders in some kind of top management position.  He loved that team.  Life is just so hard when you think of those things.  I miss Cody each and every day.  I feel his presence and I know he is  guiding all of us.  

Today I volunteered at a new foundation for sick children. It was brunch with Santa and I helped the kids write letter to Santa.  I know if Cody was here he would have been right next to me.  It was a beautiful morning seeing some kids smile for the first time in a long time. 

Tonight I went to dinner with Roy and his girlfriend.  It was very nice.  Then we met Dad and Bonnie at the beach and tried to let a lantern go it.  I did not get the good ones so that did not work out too well but we managed to send one up.  Roy is great and I am lucky to have him.  

Good night everyone.  I hope I can sleep.  Casey, Lisa and Mia will be here in the morning!!!!