July 18, 2016

19 months ago....it was about this time that I saw my son take his last breath.  I came home to our house without him.  The big picture of all this is so unreal, so sad, so difficult.  I am so worried about Casey.  I hope he will one day, open up and talk about his feelings.  I know how he feels but he is living a different loss than I am.  I will continue to ask for our guardian angel, Cody to watch and protect both of us...love you both so much!

July 8, 2016

I miss my son.  It is so hard to think that I will not see him again in this world.  I will not hear him calling for me.  I will not hear his laugh and see his goofy smile.
I had my knee replacement and I know Cody was by my side.  I now know how difficult it was for him to be stuck in bed and I was only there for 4 days.  It is scary to think we could all be sick sometime and have to endure being stuck in a hospital.
Cody loved this time of year.  He loved coming to my school at the end of the year for the big send off.  He would meet me for lunch.  During the days off, he and I would both sleep but he would always sleep much later.  I would wait for him to wake up to decide what we were going to do for that day.  It did not matter what we did, just that we did something other than the medical part.  Even if it was a hospital day and Cody felt good, we would find something to do, walk around Chinatown which he loved to do, get a great lunch somewhere, go to a movie or just chill and watch something at home.  We were inseparable.
I do find that I crave my time alone and at home.  It is my safe haven.  I am closest to Cody here.  I do get out but prefer to be here.
My friends have, once again, been such a HUGE support for me.  I have had tons of help here at home.  I am so blessed that way.  Thank you.
Enjoy the sun...I will try to also.