June 19, 2016

It is just one day past 18 months that Cody has been gone.  It is unbelievable.  My heart hurts more and more.
Three years ago we went to get that first X-ray because his chest was hurting. Too many memories.
Casey got back from his cruise yesterday.  To say he had a great time appears to be an understatement.  He called me while waiting to get off the ship and told me about the signs he let in from Cody.  He sounded good and seemed ok with getting them.  Cody loved when the three of us went on a cruise.  I know he was with Casey.  Last night I felt some kind of presence and there was a light in the hallway like 3 different times.  It was as if someone was fooling around with a flashlight.  When I went to sit on the stairs to see if I could figure it out, I got nothing.  Typical Cody playing tricks when he can.  I miss him every second.
Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.  Takes someone very special to be a dad and to fulfill those duties each day.  I know because I have done both, mom and dad.  I had a perfect role model in my dad.  He taught me well!

June 5, 2016

Seven years ago yesterday, Cody got his first chance at a cure of this awful disease.  He received a double stem cell transplant.  These past 7 years have been the toughest, painful, saddest and challenging years of my life.  I did not think that it would end in losing my son.  I knew he was sick but I thought we could do this and with this stem cell transplant being a 'cure' for his leukemia. And it was.  As we all know, Cody was hit again with this disease, a rare form of cancer that eventually relapsed and he did not get a second chance for a cure.
I think of each and every moment with him and just cannot wrap my arms around the fact that he is not here.  I did lose my best friend.  I miss him each second of my life.  One day closer……one day closer. Please continue to watch over Casey, Cody.  He needs your guidance more than anyone.  Love you both so very much.

June 2, 2016

Time just keeps going.
I have awarded one scholarship in memory of Cody and the 2nd one will be tonight.  Cody's friends have done an amazing job presenting them.  I am touched beyond words.  Such a bittersweet feeling.
Yes, I am proud but would give anything, anything at all to have my Cody back.
Went to see Casey this weekend.  We had a great time, the best we good.  We could feel Cody missing every second.  Just not right, not fair and unreal.  Seven years ago we were preparing for Cody's transplant.  We were together 24/7.  That is how much I miss him, 24/7.  Doesn't stop.  Love and miss my boy, more than ever.