My Cody....The holidays are over. It has been a tough few months. We lost your friend and Moira's niece, Meghan a few months ago. I think of her family going through the loss. I know you both found each other because you both came to me in a dream. I need to start writing them all down.
There is not a single day that I do not think of you or say your name. I think of you every second. I see all the signs and I know you are with me. It just isn't enough. I just shake my head. I cannot believe you are gone and it is has been so long. Casey is back with me and we talk of you often. We know there are times when we both feel your presence. It breaks my heart for Casey too. I know he misses you just as much. He wants to get his other arm tattooed in your memory. I cannot wait to see that. I know you are as proud of him as I am. He is now an EMT and he loves helping others like I do.
Life is strange. It is not fair. I would give anything to have you back. Anything. Miss you always, Cody.
Love,
Mom
Sunday, December 30, 2018
Monday, September 17, 2018
September 17, 2018
time...keeps going
About a month or so ago, Casey and I took apart Cody’s drums. We needed to make some room. I needed to adjust to them not set up before I thought of anew home. I asked several friends and family members about the drums. Nothing came to fruition. My brother and cousin thought about them but to send to Florida just seemed too much.
A few years ago, HSE did a jazz fundraiser. The drummer was amazing! I ran into him and his mother in a restaurant and both were so pleasant. When I can’t sleep, my mind wanders. I looked up this drummer on Facebook and got in touch with him. He seemed happy to have the drums. Upon meeting his mom and him here at the house yesterday, I could feel the emotions. I wanted to make sure it was ok to give them to him. Well, his mom got out of the car. She tells me and Casey that she works for HHH transportation and that she actually drove down our street the day before and she saw Cody’s tree and sign. Casey saw her driving. I know that was my sign from Cody letting me know that he was ok with Jordan taking his drums. Jordan was kinda quiet but I guess it could be a bit overwhelming. He set them up and posted a little video clip of him already playing them. Brings me to tears but they will be put to good use.
Please say lots of prayers tonight for Meghan. She was brought to hospice today. I feel awful. No words. Xoxo
About a month or so ago, Casey and I took apart Cody’s drums. We needed to make some room. I needed to adjust to them not set up before I thought of anew home. I asked several friends and family members about the drums. Nothing came to fruition. My brother and cousin thought about them but to send to Florida just seemed too much.
A few years ago, HSE did a jazz fundraiser. The drummer was amazing! I ran into him and his mother in a restaurant and both were so pleasant. When I can’t sleep, my mind wanders. I looked up this drummer on Facebook and got in touch with him. He seemed happy to have the drums. Upon meeting his mom and him here at the house yesterday, I could feel the emotions. I wanted to make sure it was ok to give them to him. Well, his mom got out of the car. She tells me and Casey that she works for HHH transportation and that she actually drove down our street the day before and she saw Cody’s tree and sign. Casey saw her driving. I know that was my sign from Cody letting me know that he was ok with Jordan taking his drums. Jordan was kinda quiet but I guess it could be a bit overwhelming. He set them up and posted a little video clip of him already playing them. Brings me to tears but they will be put to good use.
Please say lots of prayers tonight for Meghan. She was brought to hospice today. I feel awful. No words. Xoxo
Wednesday, April 18, 2018
April 18, 2018
its hard, it’s painful. It’s raw. My boy is gone. I miss him every second.
Today marks 3 years and 4 months. 40 months. It’s funny. I remember a few years ago talking with a family I know. The daughter and her dad were there. They lost their wife/ mom. I was asking joe everyone was and asked the young girl how her mom was. In that spilt second, I said her mom’s name. I felt awful. We carried on the conversation and I was upset. Fast forward, I, sadly, know how much I love hearing my son’s name, even if it’s a mistake. I love hearing stories about him I love sharing them too. Casey lives back here and I share stories of Cody all the time. He missed so much too. We are grieving as I’m sure we always will.
Today marks 3 years and 4 months. 40 months. It’s funny. I remember a few years ago talking with a family I know. The daughter and her dad were there. They lost their wife/ mom. I was asking joe everyone was and asked the young girl how her mom was. In that spilt second, I said her mom’s name. I felt awful. We carried on the conversation and I was upset. Fast forward, I, sadly, know how much I love hearing my son’s name, even if it’s a mistake. I love hearing stories about him I love sharing them too. Casey lives back here and I share stories of Cody all the time. He missed so much too. We are grieving as I’m sure we always will.
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