july 22, 2010

Thursday- A really tough day and my heart hurts more. It was decided that they could not do the picc line with anesthesia. Cody made sure to say he was not doing unless he has anesthesia. After an long discussion again with the NP he was determined and said he is not doing. Our doctor said she cannot force him. We tired everything saying too that this trip to see his brother could be in jeopardy. He blew that out saying we were threatening him. So emotional and upset. So I told him fine, the drs said he could wait and that they did not want to force him. I really felt he would come around. So I told him i needed to go home to get more clothes since we were staying and that blew him out of the water again. He was so pissed and said ok..get the drs, I will do it. He was so upset again and told me he was scared. I felt awful. I calmed him down and we let it go for awhile. The drs came in and he was calm and he told them he would do it. Dr. Small assured him he could get as much pain meds as he needed.The rest of the day was quiet and waiting. It turns out he did not get it today but will tomorrow and there is a possibility there could be anesthesia. We went down to the cafeteria for lunch and sat in the lobby for awhile. He seemed to perk up a little. He ate popcorn and drank a little. I know he is worried and upset and scared. I know he had a bad experience last time. I know it will be painful but we have to get through this. He has come so far. He is so strong and wants to get better. I pray every night and will continue to do so and this will all be behind us soon. Sunday after the MRI we can get some answers to his painful fistulas and go from there. His back pain seems to be more manageable with the pain patch. So we just have to get past these few more things and hope nothing new arises. Thanks for all your support, wishes, thoughts and prayers...love you all.

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