December 27, 2015

I miss my son.  We got through Christmas and I am so glad Casey is here. Somehow we get through.  I feel like I do not want to do the things we did with Cody and that is why I did not put a tree up.  I feel Casey's pain and I am trying to be strong for him.  He looks through Cody's things and he even played his drums yesterday.  He listened to the psychic reading I had that was recorded.  I really love having him here.  It feels like I have life back in my house.  Even with the three dogs here, it is just nice to see the light on in Cody's room.  We have been visiting friends and I am grateful for every one of them.  Tonight we are going to an Islanders game.  It is my first one since Cody has been gone.  Again, I do it for Casey.  I am glad, in a way, that is it not at the coliseum.  Lots of memories there and I think it would be hard to go. We are going to go see Josh Bailey after the game.  I framed a picture of he and Cody and will give it to him.  I see him wearing Cody's bracelet and it warms my heart.
Casey extended his trip to stay this week.  It is so nice to have him here.  He is seeing a new girl, one that I connected him to.  (I think that is why he is staying longer although I can think it is for me!)
Thank you all again, and always, for your continued love and support.  I am lucky to have all of you in my life.  

December 18, 2015

Not sure how a year goes by so quickly.  I re-live each second from the last year.  I know exactly where I was and what was happening.  Yesterday was a difficult and sad day but also filled with love from being surrounded by such great friends and family.  The calls, the visits, the texts, the FaceTime chats, the hugs, the laughs, the tears…lots of tears…It is amazing to me that Cody touched so many.  I am really sincerely touched.  I see the posts of Facebook from his friends, from my friends and from my family and the tears just flow.  He must be smiling every time he sees a post on Facebook with a picture of himself.  I know we have all learned from him and he continues to watch us all.
I know Cody was watching over Casey and made sure he stayed safe.  Tomorrow he comes home! He will help dry up some of my tears this sad Christmas.  We just need to be together.
Thank you all for being a part of my family.  Love you all!

Dec. 14, 2015

Today marks 7 years since Cody's diagnosis of leukemia.  Our lives changed forever that day.  I miss my son every second of every day.  This is tough week all around.  I miss him.
I am waiting very patiently to hear from Casey too.  I need to know this part of his journey is finished.  Only 6 more days until he is here.
I continue to pray for everyone and those special kids I have met along the way.  They are fighting so hard too.  It is so unfair.  Thank you all for your continued love and support and for not forgetting my boy.  xoxoxox

NOVEMBER 26, 2015

It is my first Thanksgiving without my son.  They say the 'firsts' are the toughest.  Every day is tough.  I am home and I chose to be.  I got lots of invitations (Thank you, thank you and thank you!) but chose to be home.  I feel closer to Cody here and don't want to pretend to be ok today.  I need days for that too.  I FaceTime with Casey pretty much every day and that is the highlight of my day.  He is less than 3 weeks back to the states.  I know he has Cody watching over him.  I cannot wait for him to get here and we have some time together.  We need that more than anything.
I try not to read the blog from last year and it is so sad but I know what I was doing.  I miss my sons.
We had the Super Hero Day and it was sooooo amazing to see everyone supporting me, your foundation and keeping your memory close to heart.  The children in the schools may not have met you but they know all about you.
I visited a young girl last night (15) that has cancer.  I met her through CFK.  She is such a sweet girl.  I tried to tell her about Cody but did not want to scare her.  She is fighting again and is a breath of fresh air.  I took her some of Cody's Persevere shirts and I know he will now watch over her too.  Please add Farrah to your prayers.
I also met a family from HHH that has a little boy (3) fighting too.  It is so unfair.  I have not met their son yet but someday I will.  Please add Luke to your prayers too.
Enjoy your time with your family.  That is what it is all about.  Blessed to have all of you in my life…here's to a safe and rapid homecoming for Casey!!

Nov. 18, 2015

So it has been 11 long months without my son.  I am speechless.  There are no words.  I listened to my good friend Sue and she suggested to try to do something positive to happy on the 18th.  So we had the HHH First Annual Super Hero Day in honor of our hometown hero, Cody.  I was so touched and amazed at the district turnout.  I am so lucky to be a part of HHH.  I know Cody is proud too.
I miss him so very much and just cannot fathom how time just keeps going without him.  I get all the signs, but would give anything to have him back.  I am counting the days until Casey gets here.  I miss him too and pray for his safe return home.  I worry about his feelings and emotions too.  Cody is missed by so many.  Thank you, HHH for your support and compassion, thanks to my family for always being there and thanks to my dear friends that have  become my family here in NY.  I would not be able to get through this alone.  Love you all!!!

Nov. 5, 2015

This was the week from hell last year.  I think about it every second.  Time just keeps going and it is hard to wrap my head around all of this.  It does not go away and it does not get easier.  I guess you just learn to act better.  I am going to a CFK event tonight.  Another family will be welcomed but with the bad part being the cancer.  I can't.
Thinking about all the love and support we have had and continue to have…it is truly so touching and amazing.
I miss my son, with all that I have.

October 28, 2015

Life goes on.
I miss my Cody more and more.  Counting the days till Casey comes home.