Today was good. As good as a day of chemo can be. There was a little nausea and body aches.
I did a lot of reflecting today. Sloan is a beautiful place on the 9 th floor. Everyone that works there is amazing. I cannot express how supportive everyone is there. But it is also depressing. There are moms navigating their strollers with a child hooked up to an IV pole, making the maneuvering a bit trickier. There are teen aged kids sitting and lying on their parents' laps trying to keep themelves from vomiting. There are young men with prosthesis legs. There are beautiful young women with their bald heads (and they all can pull it off) and others with very pretty scarves on their heads. Then there are the parents. They all have a certain look on their faces. We smile at each other but it is a comfort smile. You can hearw a certain panic in all of our voices. We fear the unknown. We would trade places in a heartbeat so that our children would not have to go through this. Yesterday I watched a teen boy across the hall from us experience some trauma after his bone marrow biopsy. The room was quickly filled with medical staff and the dad and grandfather were shuffled into the hall. I got chairs for them and quickly closed our curtain and used my body to block Cody 's view. It is an emotionally draining place. The chemotherapy comes with huge warning labels on the bags and you sit and watch it slowly drip into your ailing child. It breaks my heart.
Tonight we got back early to the Ronald house. Cody is just wiped out. No dinner out, he wanted McDonald's. Not the best, this I know, but he was craving it. I am cleaning the room. There is no housekeeping here. That keeps the rates low. I run down to the dining hall. It is packed with families and looks like everyone knows each other. There is food donated from a local pizzeria and a dj is blasting music.There are some of the same faces we see at Sloan there grabbing a bite to eat. I cannot tell you the feeling I have to be doing this again. Having volunteered the past 2 years at the Ronald house in Nassau county, this takes on a whole other meaning when you are the one accepting the generosity of strangers.
I am not trying to depress anyone, just needed to to express some thoughts. I appreciate everyone reading. This helps me too.
Praying for a good night and a good day tomorrow so we can get home for the weekend.
Mary,
ReplyDeleteI know from our hospital experiences how difficult it is to even attempt contact with other parents. For the most part, I kept to Tyler's room and to myself. Glad that Cody is feeling well enough to eat Mac Donald's even if it isn't especially nutritious. Sometimes you have to feed your cravings! I was so angry (still am) at the situation, the hospital, and anything and anyone I could be annoyed with but I know that's not your way. I admire your positivity and willingness to help not only Cody but others as well. Here's to good health and days full of sunshine for you both!
xoxo,
Diane
Diane,
ReplyDeleteI do have my days of being angry and mad at the world, for sure. Just talking to an old family friend today and those feelings surfaced. Believe me. This time I am angry for it happening again. It was a tough week and we are both so glad to be home. Cody just said "this futon never felt more comfortable".
Thanks for always responding. We need to get together one of these days...xoxoxo
Mary