It doesn't seem real.
I am trying to figure out what to do.
Do I stay home? Do I get out? Always come home and it's heartbreaking to walk through the door. Cody loved this house and it is so quiet. There are signs of Cody all around. Tonight I pulled up behind a car and the sticker simply said "F**k Cancer". Yep, that says it all.
I just want to say thank you to all of you for keeping up with all this and for all the outpour of non stop support. I am not sure how much more I will write here but will update periodically. There is a long painful road ahead. I will do my best, especially for Casey and we will get through. Love you all.
Continue to pray for all of us and include Cody. We need him to watch over all of us. Thank you.
Monday, December 29, 2014
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Saturday, Dec. 20, 2014
On Thursday, Dec 18 at 9:30 pm my son, my hero, fighter, warrior, my best friend, my baby, Cody Louis lost his fight to cancer. He went peacefully while I was lying in bed next to him. No more pain, needles, scans, MRI's, radiation, chemo, hospital stays, etc. I will miss him each and every second. I love you, pumpkin.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Wednesday, Dec. 17,2014
After a night of no sleep and pure restlessness, we decided to check into the Hospice Inn so Cody could get the proper meds to help him relax. He's resting. My heart hurts.
Monday, December 15, 2014
Monday, Dec 15.
Not much to report. Cody has been sleeping since Saturday night. He slept all day yesterday and today. He wakes up to take his pills but that is it. "It's all part of the process," they keep saying.
Casey was here and it was so hard. My dad comes tomorrow. Thanks for checking in with us….xoxoxo
Casey was here and it was so hard. My dad comes tomorrow. Thanks for checking in with us….xoxoxo
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Saturday, Dec 13, 2014
Long days and long nights. After a day of sleeping, Cody was up and actually played video games with my friend, Mike from SH. And he beat him, I might add. He took a nap after that and it was then that we noticed his breathing.
Cody's breathing changed last evening and he had me very scared. He was pausing between breaths and it looked like his whole body was working to get a breath in and out. Very scary. He was sleeping and I called the nurse. All of his vitals were good and we added a nebulizer if needed for the wheezing. We got some drugs delivered in liquid form in case we need them. He was up in the evening and seemed ok but weak. His nurse from Hospice is so nice. We met with his social worker and she is equally as sweet. They are special people. They both called us today to check in and that was so special. I do not know how they do it.
Trying to keep the house quiet but that is hard with his dad's family.
Casey got here today and his friend Preston and his wife are here too so that is nice. They have not seen each other in a few years. I wish Casey could stay longer but we will go from there.
Working on plans for my dad to get here this week.
Pray for us.
Cody's breathing changed last evening and he had me very scared. He was pausing between breaths and it looked like his whole body was working to get a breath in and out. Very scary. He was sleeping and I called the nurse. All of his vitals were good and we added a nebulizer if needed for the wheezing. We got some drugs delivered in liquid form in case we need them. He was up in the evening and seemed ok but weak. His nurse from Hospice is so nice. We met with his social worker and she is equally as sweet. They are special people. They both called us today to check in and that was so special. I do not know how they do it.
Trying to keep the house quiet but that is hard with his dad's family.
Casey got here today and his friend Preston and his wife are here too so that is nice. They have not seen each other in a few years. I wish Casey could stay longer but we will go from there.
Working on plans for my dad to get here this week.
Pray for us.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Wednesday, Dec 10, 2014
Cody spends most of his day sleeping. He nibbles food and drinks very little. I know this is all part of the process but it is so hard to watch and I feel helpless. I do make him get up each day and I am wondering if I should be doing that. I will check with his nurse tomorrow. He is weaker when he walks and it breaks my heart to see all this. I am so lucky that I always have someone with me and appreciate all the caring texts, emails and phone calls.
It is probably close to the time when I will be limiting visitors. I apologize but it is overwhelming and I just read it can make for more confusion. I think he is ok with the shorter visits but just know we are all trying to help Cody through this difficult time.
He is a fighter. He got washed up today and while he persisted to get himself dressed, he exhausted himself but…he did it. He pushes me away and wants to do most things by himself. I get it. It is heartbreaking.
On Sunday, Dec 14, it will be 6 years since this horrendous battle began. I remember it like it was yesterday. Cody fought every single minute and he continues to fight. He has endured what most of us will never come close to even thinking about it. He is the strongest kid I know. He is my hero.
It is probably close to the time when I will be limiting visitors. I apologize but it is overwhelming and I just read it can make for more confusion. I think he is ok with the shorter visits but just know we are all trying to help Cody through this difficult time.
He is a fighter. He got washed up today and while he persisted to get himself dressed, he exhausted himself but…he did it. He pushes me away and wants to do most things by himself. I get it. It is heartbreaking.
On Sunday, Dec 14, it will be 6 years since this horrendous battle began. I remember it like it was yesterday. Cody fought every single minute and he continues to fight. He has endured what most of us will never come close to even thinking about it. He is the strongest kid I know. He is my hero.
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014
Cody is sleeping a lot more and eating and drinking less. He was up and joking around but is in and out of sleep. He finally went back into his bed at 5:30 after eating a little soup and some fruit. We had a quiet day with his dad stopping over for about 30 minutes. My heart is breaking.
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