February 21, 2016

Unreal how this thing called 'life' just keeps going without Cody.  It feels so different and so sad.  I was in Florida on Thursday.  14 months since Cody left.  I went to dinner with Roy and Christian and Alex.  I noticed a table next to me.  Little did I know, that when I looked more closely, it was a nurse practitioner from Sloan.  I reached my hand out and touched her.  Roy was in the bathroom and I was just sitting there with my nephews.  She looked at me and then we both hugged.  She was the first familiar face I saw after he had the seizure.  (We were down in radiology getting an xray when it happened.)  She and the team got down there as fast as they could.  It was so weird to see her in Florida.  She has a beautiful little boy and her husband was charming.  We took a picture together and she sent it to some of the other NP's I know.  They are such amazing people.  She then texted me and said "Cody wanted to be remembered today".  Of course, I think about him constantly but that was clearing a sign that he wanted me to know he was with me, as I know he always seems to be.

February 8, 2016

Missing my son..more and more.  It is not fair.
I had a dream last night and all I remember was that Cody was laughing and his coaches, Carone, Mayo and Don Herr, the trainer, were with him.  I texted the three of these amazing men to tell them and Carcone told me he is wearing the black CLB shirt and Don tells me he was just talking to his daughter today about the bracelet he wears for Cody, the persevere one.  (I did not hear back from Mayo yet but he came to Cody's fundraiser with the gold whistle Cody gave him in his pocket!)
I know these are true signs…we all have such a special angel.  Miss you and love you lots, Cody.

February 5, 2015

Today was a snow day.  I used to look forward to them so I could be home with Cody.  I am home but will never be the same.  The house is my sanctuary and I feel safest here.  I know I should do more and I will.  One day at a time.  Casey will be here in March so that will make me smile.  I am lucky to have such amazing friends here when I need them.
The foundation is doing so well.  So many people contribute and help out.  I do not want Cody to ever be forgotten.  This is definitely making that happen.  I know Cody is proud.
Thank you…and be safe out there NY!

Jan. 23, 2016

The questions are here.  Why did this happen?  Why do kids get cancer?  Why does anyone get cancer?  Why isn't there a cure?  Why do some kids get it more than once?  I just keep hearing about it more and more and it breaks my heart.  Prayers needed for some special friends and some little ones too.  Not fair.  I miss my Cody more and more each day...

Jan. 18, 2016

Time keeps going without Cody.  It is so painful.  Now I have to say he passed away over a year ago.  Doesn't seem real.  Missing my boy…always. Today is 13 months gone...

Jan. 10, 2016

The fundraiser was a huge success.  I was so nervous but it all fell into place.  It looked like everyone had a great time.  I wish I could have gotten around to just chat with everyone but it was crazy and very crowded.  It was so touching and heartwarming to see all those that came out in support for Cody.  Everyone was working so hard.  Thank you to all that came.  I am so blessed that way.  Thank you all!!

Jan. 7, 2016

I wish my son was here.  I know he knows what is going on here on earth.  I know he is watching me and guiding me.  Tomorrow is the first fundraiser.  Friends are excited and they keep coming!  I am so amazed.  I am doing my best to make sure Cody is never forgotten.  I know I will never forget him.   I think about him every second.  I see his signs everywhere and I know he is with me.  The dogs feel his presence too.
I miss Cody's laugh, his jokes, his smile, his hugs, his being.  I just miss Cody.  My heart hurts.  Unreal.
Thank you again for all those supporting the foundation!!  XOXO