As I sit here tonight, I am thinking about Cody‘s last night here on earth 10 years ago. My dad and I stayed with him at hospice and had a rough night. At this point, Cody was sleeping and slipping away. A lot of friends came to see him This day and then again the next day before he passed on the 18th.
I honestly cannot believe it has been in 10 years. My heart is forever broken.
Mother’s Day was Sunday. It’s tough. Everyone asks what did you do to celebrate. Casey is in GA and working on Sunday. And Well, with one of your children in heaven, it hits differently. It’s hard to put into words. It’s definitely a void and sad. I have gained a daughter in law and grandchild with another on the way. For this, I am grateful. That constant emptiness is always there when you lose a child. It’s always with you. It should be. My son will never be forgotten and he is always with me. I miss you , Cody.
This year I’m in GA with Casey, Lisa and Mia. We talked about Cody and had wings, his favorite, for dinner. I miss him beyond words. It’s just so unreal. 10 birthdays in heaven. I can only imagine what he would be like now, married, kids? It’s all so very heartbreaking. Glad to get a hug tonight from Casey. I will push on.
On this day, at 9:30 pm, we sweet angel took his last breath in my arms. This is the worst pain in the world. No one should lose a child. Cancer took him from me. So very awful and unfair.
I know this pain. Things like Cody never getting to be an uncle. He would be perfect at it. He will never get married and have children of his own. That is where we are in life and it hurts! He will never get to be a brother in law to Lisa. She would adore him too. This second chapter of life is beautiful except that he’s missing.
I will continue to keep him alive. His foundation shows his impact to others. His name is heard. My friends and family all do such a great job in celebrating him. This I am so blessed for.
I miss my son.
I cannot wrap my head around this deep loss. How could my son be 30 and not be here? How can I not be planning his party? How can I not think about who he’d be? Where would he live? Would he be married? Kids? All of that was put to an abrupt stop Dec 18,2014. Life here on earth was over for my son. I miss him more than words. Tough day to say the least. Keep all the signs coming Cody. I need them. I might as everything about you. One day closer to seeing you again. Rest easy my boy.
It has been 8 long years without my son. 8. Just think about that. Today was tough. I try to do things to keep my son in Everyone’s mind. It’s easy for me..he never leaves it. I love and long for all the signs and I know he is with me. He would be an uncle now. I know he would love that role. I am sure Mia knows he is around. We miss and love you dearly, Cody.
